Un-Monster
Created by: [Tyler]

[two distinct voices]

Tyler: Hey, I’m [Tyler]. I live next door.

Finn: Hi. I’m [Finn]. I would shake your hand, but—

T: I get it. Um, I wanted to let you know my room flooded last night.

F: A flood? Like water?

T: Yeah. I didn’t see it, but my roommate did.

F: Is there a pipe burst or something?

T: That’s what I think. My roommate isn’t convinced.

F: Well, I’m sure an earthquake like that could burst a pipe.

T: Oh, was that an earthquake?

F: I’m sure.​

T: I guess an earthquake could burst a pipe like the ones here.

F: The pipes here?

T: The earthquake here. But I didn’t notice an earthquake.

F: But the earthquake might break a pipe, or at least push up some groundwater.

T: Yeah, but I think the landlord already checked that out and didn't find anything. He was in my room cleaning up last night.

F: Was he there the night before, too?

T: No.

F: Well, I saw someone out on your balcony last night.

T: That was probably my roommate.

F: Do you think he knows something about the earthquake?

T: Why are you so adamant that there was an earthquake?

F: Because there was. Ground was—

T: [narrating] He holds both hands out next to each other, flat and level before they pneumatic seesaw.

[Note: this gesture may closely resemble the American Sign Language word for "balance".]

[A beat.]

T: Okay. To be honest, I wasn’t even here for most of it. And my roommate says there was a flood.

F: Maybe that was the mud. There was mud on the floor near the walls.

T: What time was that?

F: Eight at night or so.

T: I was here just after then. I didn’t see any mud in my room. I didn’t feel any shaking.

F: That’s fine. Glad no one else got hurt.

[A beat.]

F: Our takeout spilled, but not sure that has anything to do with anything.

T: You’re sure you don’t know anything about a flood?

F: I know about the mud. The floor still has mud all over.

T: [narrating] I peek behind him and see some mud caked onto the floorboards.

F: But you and your roommate are okay?

T: As okay as we are.

F: Did something else happen?

T: [narrating] He looks at me and his head tilts just a little and his mouth perks up. He’s surprised I’m there all of a sudden or something.

F: Gosh, you’re early. You should know the guy I live with sleepwalks.

T: What does that have to do with anything?
​F: I hear [Brandon] walk down the hall at night. The sound of his steps. Always approaching but never quite sure if he’s approaching me until he stops. I know he’s going somewhere but I might be a goal or just a mile marker. I never know which.

T: Okay?​

F: Come back later, whenever you need anything. For now, just keep the lights on. Listen for anything weird.

T: Thank you, I guess.

T: [narrating] I think he means [Sam].

[The door closes. End of recording.]